Behide but Moving Forward

Boy I am behind on my blogging. I have just been so busy. If you see my house right now you would know it’s not that I have been busy cleaning. My home has been neglected too. 

I just got a few minutes here at 10:46 at night to type a few words and read a few blog post. I can barely keep my eyes open. I will eventually read through all the ones I follow. It may not be until the weekend but I will get there. 

I have a good excuse why I haven’t been actively blogging these past two weeks..

1. I have been reading my Bible. I am trying to read through the New Testament. I am in Acts now. I have been reading this instead of blogs. I read some in the mornings and some in the afternoons. That’s when my eyes start feeling heavy. They say that reading the Bible will do that to you.

I have to say, “It is hard to read the Bible”. I am a terrible reader and have trouble understanding what I read. Add those biblical words and names and my brain becomes mush. I just hope it’s all sinking in and will come to me later when I need guidance.

2. I started a new job. I have kept hush about this one for a while until I actually started. I started Monday.

I accepted the job offer the first of July and put my notice in at the accountant office on July 5th. My last day there was last Wednesday. It was a nice place to work but I just couldn’t turn this one down as it has benefits. I am now an Administrative Support Specialist with the County. I will be working in children and family services. I think I'm going to enjoy it and so far everyone seems really nice and helpful. 

I can’t wait to go in tomorrow to see what else I can learn. 

I plan to get back to blogging regularly. Life just throws me loops sometimes and the older I get, the harder it hits. 

I need more hours in the day. 

Have you ever read through the Bible?

Do you read the book or use an app?

I have several Bibles in the house but I choose to use the Bible App as I can just click on the app anywhere I am and start reading. 

I love the plans and other features. 

Worked Seven Slept Eleven

Yes you read the title right. “Worked”. 

I have not found a full time office job YET. But I have not given up looking. I still apply every day to something new that pops up that I think I qualify for, but still no luck. I have gotten some interviews but that’s all I have gotten so far.

SO, me and my husband was offered a part time seasonal job a Belks. We are working in fulfillment. Our first day was Yesterday. This is only temporary and will give us something to do besides watching reruns of “Rosanne” all day. 

I worked seven hours. It was actually fun. I had to go around and find items sold from online orders, then take them to packing and shipping. I felt like one of Santas elves. 

As the holidays get closer, we will be working more hours. We are only going to get in 15 hours this week. 

When I came in from working, I ate supper, took a shower, caught up on my emails and checked to see if any new jobs openings came available. Then once I leaned back into the recliner, I was out like a fat kid in dodgeball. Nick woke me up around 11:30 to go to bed and I slept a total of 11 hours. 

During breakfast, he started snickering and said “looks like your gonna need a day off between every days work”.  I had to remind him that I have not worked on my feet in over 28 years. All I have ever done was sit behind a desk. Also I had taken a dizzy pill during my work day because I was light headed and was afraid I would have a vertigo attack, and that would be embarrassing. I did fine. However, those pills make me drowsy. I have to remember that next time. 

I’m pretty excited to go back and do some more laboring...haha. I like fast pace and keeping busy. I can get my exercise in and since it’s practically like shopping for other people, I get some retail therapy. I will be working mostly weekends and on Thanksgiving day. This makes me really sad. I have never spent a holiday away from my daughter. I have moments were I feel down on myself. I want to better myself. I do not want to work for a department store. I worked at the same store when I was right out of high school, at almost the same pay! But again, it’s something to keep me going until I find a real job. 

Please keep me in your prayers that I will find a full time office position soon. 

Until then.....I will be helping Santa get those gifts out in time for Christmas! 

Finally February

Wow it’s finally February. Thank goodness! I am behind on my blogging, but hey, It is my blog so there are no deadlines. Right?

January was crazy for me. It started off with me having a procedure done to remove a small cancer cell from my forehead. Then I had my first job interview. After that, I was having dinner at Jackson’s Cafeteria and bit down on piece of fat back and broke a noticeable tooth in half. This caused me to have a weekend without a smile then resulted in a dentist appointment to have a crown. This was all before I had to have a new hire photo made. Luckily I was able to have it fixed before I went. I start work next week. 

Then I was called from another place that I had applied for (not ready to tell it yet) to come take a reading and math exam. I was skeered. I am not good at reading, spelling or math. But I passed, was fingerprinted, photographed and an unexpected 1st interview. I will know in a couple weeks if I need to come in for a 2nd interview. Meanwhile I will keep working at my new part time job and later decisions might have to be made.

I have also been suffering from my Meniere's the past couple weeks. It is a never ending battle. I never know when I wake up in the mornings if I will have a good day or a bad day. The fullness, pressure, dizziness, and ringing in my ear drives me crazy at times. This also leads to hearing loss during an episode. I can’t concentrate, hence why I haven't done much blogging. 

There are days I do not feel like getting dressed or leaving the house. I never know when a vertigo attack will happen and its scary. This is a big concern of mine for when I start my new job. I will have to keep pushing my self through my episodes and hope no one notices or that I don't fall out. 

This is an invisible problem. On the outside I look completely well. No one can see me screaming inside or how tired and stressed it makes me. They do not know the struggles and concerns I am faced with every single day. I can’t even talk about it because no one understands. It’s going on 5 years now.

I hope February is easier on me and I can finally get my working life back together. I can’t hardly wait to get back out there and make money and make new friends. 

Meanwhile, stay tuned. I just managed to make some awesome cookies I plan to share next! 

What Next?

Friday afternoon on my drive home from work, I was in a different world. The road felt long and I didn’t even notice others passing me by. I wonder if I even stopped at the stop lights or just drove straight through them. I’m not even sure my radio was playing.

I finally made it home and pulled into the carport. My husband was standing at the door waiting on me like he does every day. I walked in and lost it. He wrapped his arms around me and held me. He knew what had just happened. After a moment I fixed my makeup before heading out for a date night birthday dinner. 

After 26 years, my job came to an end. My boss (who is retired and I haven't seen in years) came in and told me he had to let me go because he had sold half the franchise and could not afford to pay me anymore.

I held strong as I could as he explained his reason and fed me a lot of bull snot. He said I would be getting only a couple weeks severance pay and even told me he was gonna bring in another girl to take my place for half the pay. That hit a nerve. It was an insult to me as I was a dedicated employee. I needed to work and was grateful to have a job. I could barely hold it. I have never laid out sick, I Even worked on family funeral days and logged in and worked while on my vacations. Simply because I cared about my job. I worked hard but I was also comfortable, and made a healthy paycheck.

I did all the office, personnel and administrative work. The owner knows how to do some of the work I did and I assume he will be training a new person soon. I’m sure they can do without me but he will now see just how much I really did once it’s not getting done. 

Despite the happy post I made over the weekend I have been on one big emotional roller coaster. I do not know what to do with myself as I had put everything into my job for 26 years. That’s almost half of my life. It’s scary. I feel like all my dreams in life will only be dreams. But then again, my dreams didn’t include working at that place all my life. So maybe this is the start of something good. I will just have to have faith. It feels weird not getting ready for work in the mornings. 

What Next?

Honestly, I have no idea. 

I have already put in a few applications online. I have been turned down by some and hope to hear back from the others. I also will be heading up to the community college this week to get some info on taking some classes and if I can even afford it.

On a good note, nothing right now is holding be back from another beach trip, and when I go, I will not have to worry about catching up on my work load.

Sorry for the depressing post. I usually refrain from posting sad or bad news but it felt good to let it out here on the blog. I will be fine. And if you pray, say a prayer for me.

Happy Labor Day

Hope everyone is enjoying their Labor Day. I hope those who labor are getting some rest.

Some have the day off. Though my boss told me I could have the day off, I still had to come in for a little while to get some reports ran before tomorrow since it is the first buisness day of the month. He should have known that.

Thanks to all who have worked hard and sacrificed your time to make this country grow and prosper. To the ones that can not find a job, I pray you will find one soon. For those that are disabled or can not work, I hope you have the strength to helping others through words and wisdom.
I have a sour place in my heart for those who "can" work, but refuse to work, only to live off handouts and free money from the Government. I want even get started on that.

We live in a country where everyone has the freedom to work and take time off to rest. Some countries do not have this luxury. It should never be taken for granted.

"Work is not a punishment, it's a reward". 

Now for you reading pleasure, here are some fun work facts about me:

• My first job was in a fish camp cleaning tables.
• I quit my first job to chase a boyfriend around on prom night. Since I had to work, he took someone else and boy was I jealous. 
• When I was little, I wanted to be a trashman when I grew up.
• What I always wanted to be is a nurse. 
• The closest job I got to nursing was working for a foot doctor. Lasted 3 weeks. 
• I have only been fired from a job once and that was due to lack of experience.
• The job I hated the worst was selling waffle cones at Carrowinds.
• The most unusal job I ever had was a painter for new construction homes.
• The hardest job I ever had was mill work.
• I’ve made a living with the job I currently have. I am greatful but tired.
• I have been at my current job for almost 26 years now.
• I have never called into work sick.
• I’m late most days but no one notices.
• I haven’t found my dream job yet.