It is What it is

I have not written a new post in a few days because when things are going on in the world that are disturbing to me, that’s all I can think about and I just can’t come up with words to express how I feel. I try to keep my post away from my political views so sometimes it’s best for me keep quiet because I do not want to detour my readers on my bias. 

What happens, Happens. “ It is what it is”

So today I am going to just list a few things on my mind. Things I have been thinking about.

Yes, this is a political post with my own opinion and views and I understand we all do not think alike and that’s ok. Don’t bash me.

• Trump is still my President until it is all said and done.
• Yes I voted for Donald Trump in both elections.
• Why? Because he seems to care about the people in the Untied States. He really really did want to make America great again but his hands were tied.
• He never gives up a fight.
• He believes in God and was not ashamed to say it. He believes in what the Bible teaches us for leadership.
• I am not happy about what going on.
• If one man wins fair and square, then ok, but it’s not fair and square and you know it. There is some dirty stuff going on. 
• I knew the push for mail in ballots was not a good idea. Though I understand some people have to vote this way.
• I knew the Dems would pull another nasty stunt to keep our President from succeeding.
• I am not as worried about who becomes President as much as I am worried about what kind of country we are becoming. 
• I will not loose a friendship over two men that do not even know my name. We all have the right to our own political views.
• Everything we have and will work for will become worthless.
• I don’t want to rely on free stuff. I believe in working for things I have.
• I do not want a President that has no morals. 
• I do not want to have a President that was voted in because of his handling of a new virus. 
• I may never understand why people vote for certain candidates and just hope whoever is elected will do whats right for our country. 
• I hope who ever becomes president, we can be a peaceful nation. The Dems have been awful the past four years fighting and rioting against everything from the beginning.

There is so much more, but like I said, it’s hard for me to explain how I feel. 

All we can do now is pray for our leaders. Pray for our nation. And live one day at a time.

We can’t control what’s going to happen. 

It is what it is. 

New Normal?

“Welcome to the new normal” or “Be prepared for the new normal”.

I am hearing that a lot lately and I’m not on board. 

Maybe I don’t want a “new normal.”

When I hear that phrase, it makes me think people are accepting the way things are right now and willing to just live with it. 

I don’t think we should give up so easy.

Not that I liked the “old normal”, I mean, that didn’t really work for me either. 

Why can’t we strive to make a “better normal?” 

Who wants to wear an unnecessary mask everywhere they go? (Don’t get me started on that!) 

Who wants to have to worry about where their next dollar is coming from?

We need a better normal or just go back to how things were. I don’t know.

But I refuse to make this mess we are going through right now a “new normal”.

It sucks.

What Next?

Friday afternoon on my drive home from work, I was in a different world. The road felt long and I didn’t even notice others passing me by. I wonder if I even stopped at the stop lights or just drove straight through them. I’m not even sure my radio was playing.

I finally made it home and pulled into the carport. My husband was standing at the door waiting on me like he does every day. I walked in and lost it. He wrapped his arms around me and held me. He knew what had just happened. After a moment I fixed my makeup before heading out for a date night birthday dinner. 

After 26 years, my job came to an end. My boss (who is retired and I haven't seen in years) came in and told me he had to let me go because he had sold half the franchise and could not afford to pay me anymore.

I held strong as I could as he explained his reason and fed me a lot of bull snot. He said I would be getting only a couple weeks severance pay and even told me he was gonna bring in another girl to take my place for half the pay. That hit a nerve. It was an insult to me as I was a dedicated employee. I needed to work and was grateful to have a job. I could barely hold it. I have never laid out sick, I Even worked on family funeral days and logged in and worked while on my vacations. Simply because I cared about my job. I worked hard but I was also comfortable, and made a healthy paycheck.

I did all the office, personnel and administrative work. The owner knows how to do some of the work I did and I assume he will be training a new person soon. I’m sure they can do without me but he will now see just how much I really did once it’s not getting done. 

Despite the happy post I made over the weekend I have been on one big emotional roller coaster. I do not know what to do with myself as I had put everything into my job for 26 years. That’s almost half of my life. It’s scary. I feel like all my dreams in life will only be dreams. But then again, my dreams didn’t include working at that place all my life. So maybe this is the start of something good. I will just have to have faith. It feels weird not getting ready for work in the mornings. 

What Next?

Honestly, I have no idea. 

I have already put in a few applications online. I have been turned down by some and hope to hear back from the others. I also will be heading up to the community college this week to get some info on taking some classes and if I can even afford it.

On a good note, nothing right now is holding be back from another beach trip, and when I go, I will not have to worry about catching up on my work load.

Sorry for the depressing post. I usually refrain from posting sad or bad news but it felt good to let it out here on the blog. I will be fine. And if you pray, say a prayer for me.

Finding My Focus

I get my eyes examined each year. (It’s one of the free things I get by giving the insurance company a quarter of my check each month). My eye sight has pretty much stayed the same each year but is declining very slow. I definitely require reading glasses. If I buy them over the counter I’m somewhere between 1.75 and 2.0. I can see fine looking far away.

This year at my regular visit, the doctor wrote me a prescription for both seeing afar and reading. He said I do not really need both right now, but recommends it and that they make transitional glasses that I may want to look into. 

I took my prescription and sat on it for a couple months before deciding to go ahead and get prescription glasses. I went to a place called Americas Best Eye Care. I purchased two pair of frames for 99.00. I just got the "readers" part of the prescription. When I got home with my new glasses I seen online where if I take a photo wearing my glasses, I would have a chance at a $250.00 voucher from Americas Best. 

I entered and low and behold, I was the August Fridays Face and won the voucher! How cool was that? 

Now, I wondered what in the world am I going to do with that much money to spend at an eye center. I already had two pair of new frames that I loved. 

I held on to the voucher in case Nick wanted to use it on his next pair of glasses. December came and it was fixing to expire. He told me that he really did not want new glasses so for me to use the voucher on a nice pair. So I went back to the glasses store to look around.

I decided to go big and chose a pair of Ray-Ban frames and had them put my full prescription lenses in them. This meant transitional lenses. They warned me that it would take a while to get used to and made me promise to wear them for ten hours straight to get a feel of them.

Here I am heading out shopping with my new Ray-bans on looking like a nerd. But I did it. I made it all day wearing these things. 

I really like that I can read something then look up with out peeping over the frames or taking them off. This will make church services easier. Looking down at my Bible, them up at the pastor was uncomfortable with just the readers on.

But then the struggle hit me.

My problem now is trying to find my focus at work. I do a lot of reading, writing and computer work. I am having trouble getting a good reading sight from both eyes at the same time. While one is clear, the other is blurry so I tilt my head a little and it will switch to the other side. It’s annoying but I’m not giving up. They told I would have to get used to them when reading as I am now looking through a smaller space to read. Unfortunately I refused to pay the extra hundred dollars to have the wider vision transition.

Does anyone else use transitional lenses? Did you have this problem at first? I just feel like it’s a never ending battle. I will continue using them here at work and hopefully I will finally find my focus. Meanwhile, shopping in them is fun and perfect for looking down at a price for a second.
Now maybe I will come home with the right size clothes and no price surprises. Haha.

Sweater: Old Navy

Distressed Jeans: Indigo Rein from TJ Maxx

Boots: Rack Room Shoes

Hat: Crane Clothing Co. 

Glasses- Ray Ban from Americas Best
Cross body purse: Ross

FUNK

• My Fitbit alarm gently vibrated on my wrist to effortlessly wake me up. 
• It was 7:00 am. 
• I sat up in bed, grumpily punched my pillow and walked out of the room then gently shut the door not to wake up my husband and started my daily routine. 
• As I walked into the bathroom my shoulder hit the side of the door and I kicked a towel in the floor from last nights shower. 
• Looking in the mirror I did not like the face looking back at me. 
• "gross!" I said as I turned off the light and walked into the kitchen to eat breakfast. 
• I forgot to add coffee grounds to the coffee maker so I remade a pot. 
• I ripped the bag of bread because I found the simple bread tie annoying to get off. 
• "Stupid bread bags" I mumbled. 
• I made an egg while my toast was browning in the toaster then sat down to eat. 
• I looked through my emails, checked my Facebook, Twitter and Instagram then headed over to my blog to read everyone's post.
• The husband is now up and sits down to eat a bowl of oatmeal and throws me a kiss across the table.
• I was not in the mood so I did a fast pucker back with a sideways smile. 
• He knew to leave me alone. 
• After about 10 minutes, time seemed to sneak up on me so slammed my iPad shut. 
• Because I guess somehow it was the iPads fault that I didn't have time to finish.
• I had to get ready for work but I could not find anything to wear. 
• "Ugly is all I see" I shouted. "I do not look good in any of this stuff' anymore".
• I headed to the vanity. 
• "Uuuughhh, I'm so ugly!" I said to myself. 
• Then my eyes filled with tears.
• The husband walked in and tried to make me feel better. 
• But I knew this was just something husbands do. It didn't help matters.
• "I can't get my hair to look right, my face is saggy and wrinkles are everywhere!"
• "I look old and worn".
• "I have bad teeth"
• "I'm useless and will never amount to anything" 
• "I hate my job"
• "and I'm always broke".
• Nick just listened until I was finished. Then he again tried to make me feel better.
• It was 8:30am
• I grabbed my work bag and headed to work hoping I do not get into any road rage.
• I was on the brink.

Why all this?
I was in a FUNK!
This will happen to me a couple times a year and it feels awful.

Do you ever just wake up thinking the whole world is against you?
You feel like whatever you do, someone else has just done it better?
You feel like everyone in the world is having fun and enjoying life except you?
You feel ugly and useless.
Everything seems irritate you.
It's like a depression cloud that will float over you and you wait for it to pass.
And usually by the end of the day, it will.

How do you fix this? 

I'm not sure about you but I have to find an outlet.

Pray first.

I have to stay off social media a while. The news will keep me depressed.
I have to keep thinking positive.
I have to keep telling myself  "this not who I am and it will pass".
Exercise works too.

Having a friend you can talk too and vent too is a big plus. I do not have a friend like this but I have my husband and he is my best friend. We talk, we walk, and we grumble about life together and by the end of the day I'm in a better mood.

Do you ever get in Funk?